When we got the dx of autism, it was a big relief to me. I had been reading and researching like crazy, and happened to read a book that was written in journal-style about a boy who happened to behave so much like my son...that's how I began to understand that my boy had autism.
The first thing both our families did was to blame the 'other side':
"Your family has multiple instances of mental illness - that's where the autism came from!" (translates to" your whole family is nuts!")
"Your family has several people with autism" (my brother's son has autism)
Back and forth, blame and counter-blame. Didn't do anyone any good. We still have a kid with autism. Well, eventually that blame thing died down, and we forgot to do it. Instead, we were able to look to who our son really is. That's a good thing! Because I think, of all the things we want to be accepted for, who we are is the number one on our lists, right??? Of course, right!!!