zaremom's blog

Answer: It depends on what day it is! Hahaha!

Oh dear. I haven't blogged in a while. I can give you a quick run down. Zare is doing awesome, He got into the Challenge program (Highly Capable) and He is in a classroom with other kids with Behavior issues. He is actually not the most annoying kid in class anymore, Hooray! Our dogs died, and we got a puppy. A puppy which thinks that our dear little A is actually a big four limbed toy. Its not going well.

"Get rid of the puppy and Get a DOG." Says Little A. 

Yes Little A is talking. But his school situation stinks to High Heaven. He basically sits still and waits for the teacher to come and help him, if he doesn't get help with a topic he rips/scribbles his work. I am going to pull him out this year. WHERE we are going next year is still up in the air. We might have to go to private school (gulp) whereupon I will get a job somewhere as a lunch lady or housecleaner. Becuase all my job skills are outdated or useless. We might even homeschool and then drive him to all his various therapies, both sound super appealing. But drastic measures need to happen before He notices what is going on. 

Ugh. I dont feel like revisiting the first week of school, but basically know this; Lil a hates school, hates it with a passion. Hates it so much I have to haul him on to the bus kicking and screaming. Hates it so much that when he is being corrected by the pe teacher he will try anything, including licking the pe teacher. 

He is more verbal now, but his "Who What When Where How." stuff isn't quite to par. Which is sad because right now thats what I need from him more than ever. 

Something is missing buddy, what is it? What's missing?

What do you need?

What are they doing or not doing that is bothering you? 

What can I do? How can we help?

So here we are, the last VBS for little a, the second to last camp for Zare. Summer is almost over, and then I will go back to being a chicken with my head cut off. Or maybe not. The most stressful thing is figuring out the bussing of two kids at two different schools, sometimes thats a bigger headache than driving. 

But I am happy to report that the boys have done OK in camps, no they do not always have fun, but FUN does not always happen when you are a grown-up anyway. Life is about compromise and working through tough stuff so you can get to the fun stuff later, like surviving camp so you can go home and sing to yourself while you play legos. 

Plus mom needs breaks, even if it is simply talking to herself while going through the dollar spot at target.

Summer, a magical time when we all just lay around and look at the cloud shapes in the sky.

Sorry, cant help to make a joke or two.

I have lots of camps lined up, but the first two weeks of summer break I thought would let the kids relax a little bit. Most of it has been ok, but there are times that Zare makes lil a cry every ten minutes. I have to turn it into a logic thing "If you make him cry, I can't get any work done, if i cant get any work done, we cannot play."

Which sometimes works. The hardest thing has been playground time, Zare can make friends at the park now, woot woot! Lil a doesn't have that skill yet, so of course he latches onto what zare is doing. Which means Lil a gets turned into "it." Monster, Badguy, alien from outerspace, whatever. 

Then I had to turn into annoying mom, "You need to INCLUDE your brother, take turns being it!" 

Which goes well for a while, then it all dissolves into a battle, Lil a gets hurt, Zare trys to lie his way out of it, promises that he will forever be a perfect child from now on. 

Good grief it has been a while. 

I have been meaning to blog really, blah blah blah. 

Anyway cut to today. Last day of school, last at His elementary school. He got into the gifted program, praise the lord! It took two different tests, because he didn't do well on the first (he hates testing). It has been hard to say goodby though. Until yesterday, when I found out he was the class bullys sidekick.

"So what do you do?" I asked him

"I am the grantor."

"What does that mean?" 

"I turn people into animals or bodyguards for Z" Oh great, so mr z man points the figure and Zare comes out and is the enforcer.

So maybe a new school aint so bad, especially one that is known to bring recess issues back into the classroom as part of a social conversation. 

But still it is hard, saying good bye to the teachers and assistants, recess paras and the like. So many people have helped him get this far. 

So He was a little emotional today, especially with all the good byes that are permanent and whatnot. 

Lil A is now six, and I think he is going through a growth spurt. More like a maturity spurt. His fuse all of a sudden has gotten super short. 

"No, I do not want meat, WAAAAH!" Things that bothered him before now completely set him off. I feel like I have a teenage girl that has just broken up with her boyfriend and everything makes her sob.

When he cried over the lack of drawing paper at church my husband looked at me, confused.

"Its hormones." I said.

Confused face turned to frightened face.

"Growth spurt hormones."

Frightened face softened, slightly. He squinted at me.

"Well, thats what I am going to call it."

Maybe it is the same cries as before, but they are bothering me more than before? It just seems more amplified. At least he can tell us more.

"You make me ANGRY about that!" "WAAAAAH!"

I wish sometimes I could sit both boys down and tell them,

"Look! You are BOTH on the spectrum! And both of you are bothering each other with all your spectruminess so CUT IT OUT!"

Nope. So instead I have to tell them "knock it off." basically, over and over again. 

Today was an especially harsh example of both of their idiosyncransies butting heads.

Zare got a Bubbie day today, and part of the day entailed heading into Toys R Us and picking out a toy for himself and one for Lil A. When I picked up Zare, he had built his already. Toxic Reapa! Hero Factory 4.0! What does he pick out for little brother? Rawjaw, Hero Factory 3.0. clunk. My mom has no idea the difference, as she bought the boys 3.0 toys for christmas. I however, read the lego magazine before the boys do.

Back at home, Lil A is a good sport about it, grateful for a new toy. But as He rips open the packaging, Zare declares, "you HAVE to build using the instructions."

Gah. The Little Dictator has spoken, therefore it MUST be.

Not to be outdone, Lil A stakes his territory, "No! I build it myself!" meaning he free builds his own way. 

We have survived a week of snow. I will say thank the LORD that we personally did not lose power. Actually we did, but only for two hours here and an hour there, not too bad. The main thing that is interesting is when the structure is lessened, the whining octaves increase. I printed off math worksheets, I had zare journal about his days, but there simply is no replacement for 6 hours of school when you are not the one that usually administers it. So it basically became a total of 9 weekend days. That seems like summer, but in the summer time we can go out to the backyard and hand the kids a hose. This was 9 days spent mostly indoors, because I am cheap I never buy snowpants. The most they got out was an hour an outing, twice a day. 18 hours outside in 9 days is not a lot when you break it down. Thankfully, I have not fully overcome my hoarding issues, I had a few craft kits stocked away. I relearned the fact that I like breaks from my children, and I will avoid being a homeschool mom at all costs.

We all know we are supposed to broaden our childs grasp of language. With kids that have Aspergers like mine, sometimes you think you have that covered. Or they cover ground for you. But what about colorful language about color? 

Janie Brockets Clever Concepts "Red, Violet, Lime, looking for color" Is an amazing book, not only does it cover basic color theory, it shows how to observe real surroundings. Great big photos of items in studio shots and in natural settings. The pictures of jellybeans are nice too.

"Red is bright and bold. Scarlet Candy, ruby flowers, crimson chairs, and rosy apples say, "look at me!""

It goes on of course. Not enough discussion of grey, but I guess I could just point to the window.

Anyway, fabulous book. It seems the random grabs at the library are the happiest picks. 

So the boys did extra chores this week to earn shopping money. Today we went to Dollar tree and they picked out gifts for Grandma, Grandpa, Dad and Mom. At least, that was what Zare was doing. We get home and I start helping Lil a wrap the presents, then I had him put the tag on the present.

 "There, thats to Papa from Lil A" 

 He rips the tag off.

"I want MY NAME!" Good grief, to A from A? I lectured, tried to bring back time, Recalled what we talked about in the store. He doesn't get it, he happily wraps them. But with each tag, he rips them off, I put the tags back on and then put them away. What is it going to be like when he is supposed to give them to people?

 Then he sulks.

 "Its not Jesus's birfday."

Merry Christmas to you too buddy.