resptherapist's blog

Well, My worst fears were realized today.  Sure...I knew my son was different.  He flaps his hands, he is obssessed with turning lights on, he has tantrums. I knew he was probably on the autism spectrum. "He's too social and happy" my relatives would tell me. "He's fine , he'll catch up." was another one.  Mason never caught up. He can only say a handful of words, he has some strange behavior. Sick of the wait and see game...I took him to U.V.A. Medical center. The center is reknowned for diagnosing autism and developmental disorders.  The verdict, autism and maybe fragile X? The fragile X caught me off guard.  My life is now changed forever.....and I know I should be upbeat and happy he's in our lives....but right now I feel like my life is over.  I might be changing diapers until I am 80. I am always going to need a babysitter , my son will most likely never go to college or get a job.  I had hopes of my son becoming a doctor or lawyer.....and they are now gone....in one appointment.  Worst....he will be ridiculed....he will be in special classes, he will never know what it is like to have friends over to ride bikes or later---, sneak out of the house or drive a vehicle.

  As a young mother, I expected a lot. I was 19 and engaged when I found out we were expecting...shocked but happy. From the moment Mason was born I knew something was wrong.  He cried constantly..."it's just colic he'll grow out of it"  He never said "ma ma or da da or bye bye" until he was two. He didnt walk until 20 months. He didnt sit up by himself until 1 yr. He would shake his head back and forth for up to 5 mins. I remember sitting in the hospital holding my first baby and thinking "what are you going to be? A doctor? A lawyer? "  Mason is 3 now....he isnt officially diagnosed with autism as of yet...but in my heart I know.  His hearing, vision has checked out perfect. He has been to more doctors and had more tests done than I can count. He has had an MRI. Next month we will be going to the Kluge center in Charlottesville for a diagnosis. All he can say is "open" "meow" "woof woof" "all gone" "bye bye" "yuck"  He cant follow simple commands, he throws tantrums to the point that he hurts himself....he will bang his head against walls etc.  He mostly screams when he wants something.