autismrevealed's blog

I know you’ve heard of it – Theory of Mind.  You probably looked it up to see what it meant and came across the term “mind-blindness” and found it used as a way to explain autism.  So many professionals use this in a detrimental formal way to characterize individuals on the spectrum and suggests, whether intended or not, that autistic individuals are incomplete in their humanness.  Let me ask you this; do you agree?

We all know that parents don’t get an instruction manual on how to be parents.  We all want to know the secrets on how to raise a child so they can achieve their potential and how to interact with our child that builds confidence and character.  All of us also know that no one goes into parenthood with all the answers - we learn slowly, year by year.  From the pregnancy stage to interacting with the adult child, we all travel a road that leads to the future – to the next generation.  The knowledge we attain is so vast that no book could possibly cover it all.  Yet, when we need help we can search the Internet, pick up a book that specifically covers the topic or ask other parents questions on how they dealt with this or that. We make progress ever forward. It’s never a smooth, uneventful road, but it shouldn’t be a chore - like a dreaded homework assignment.  It should be more like a rocky adventure. It is true what they say, that parenting is the hardest job one will ever have, but also the most rewarding.

Recently I came across a bracelet in a magazine with this quote: “Not all those who wander are lost – J.R.R. Tolkien”.  It has stuck in my mind for days.  I have seen this quote many times before but for some reason this time it really hit home. My first thought was, “That’s right, some are just autistic!”

When Matt was young he used to wander.  It would happen when we were in a group of people such as a family gathering or at Cub Scouts.  If we were outside then Matt would slowly walk to the periphery and circle us.  He kept track of where we were with quick glances out of the corners of his eyes.  If we were indoors, Matt would walk from room to room until he found one void of people, bright lights and noise.  There he would occupy himself with a simple activity such as practicing expressions with his reflection in a window. He was never out of ear shot.  Yes, Matt wandered, but he was not lost.

The autism website, "World According to Matt" now has a facebook fanpage so people can comment on the stories from around the world. The latest story on meltdowns discusses the unlikely triggers that can be overlooked. Be one of the first to share your own insights and comments!

Can you help me spread the word?

I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

On Facebook:  just type in the search area - Autism and the World According to Matt

How do you deal with defiance?  It’s hard enough for a parent to deal with defiance from any child but what about from an autistic child?  I can look back and see that it all could have been handled much better if I had understood the triggers that initiated the “meltdowns”. One specific trigger always resulted in a battle of wills and physical strength. If I had only known then what I know now those battles would have fallen away at a much earlier age. 

Although I learned early that Matt had a prescribed formula in the progression toward a meltdown, it took me years to discover their root cause.  For those of you who don’t know what a meltdown is I would describe it as an escalation of defiance to the degree of def-con 4 (possibly 5) as compared to a typical temper tantrum – which I would rate as only capable of reaching def-con 2.  Regrettably, the cause was not discovered until years later, after Matt had already been through numerous high-level meltdowns.  Imagine my shame when I discovered that I had unknowingly triggered the worst of them.  “How?” you ask. 

When Matt was very young (and very autistic in his behaviors) he was an expert in the covert observation. Covert because he was subtle, and oh so sly, in the way he watched people’s behavior and interactions.  Matt didn’t look directly at faces, as if to do so was just too painful.  Instead, he averted his eyes to the ground or to the side.  He would then take brief glances at faces or at the body language of another – just a flicker of his eyes - to take in all that he wanted to know.  Do all autistic children do that? I know they all seem to look away or avoid faces, but do they all flick their eyes to covertly observe? Have you noticed this in your child?

Just an update -

We are now #49 (Top 50!) of the 104 nominated autism spectrum blogs.  I have no idea when voting ends . . . I searched all over Babble.com and could not find when the voting actually stops. Could we actually get into the Top 25?  I really don't know - I'm very pleased that World According to Matt is in the Top 50.

If you haven't already voted - here's the link to the Babble site.

http://www.babble.com/Baby/baby-development/top-25-autism-blog-favorite-...

If you put in alphabetical order it will be on page 3 - makes it easier than hunting through all the nominated blogs. Or you could go to our website and click on the link . . .

 http://worldaccordingtomatt.com

Well, after 1 day we left being last in the 103 nominated blogs and have moved up to number 54 - and the best part is that we only need 50 votes to move into the top 25.  Voting ends soon - please, if you haven't already voted - go to Babble.com and vote for World According to Matt. 

Here's the link

 http://www.babble.com/Baby/baby-development/top-25-autism-blog-favorite-...

If you put in alphabetical order it will be on page 3 - makes it easier than hunting through all the nominated blogs.

Also, we hit over 350,000 likes yesterday on our website and are celebrating by giving the site a whole new look - check it out at http://worldaccordingtomatt.com

Thanks everyone - I'll keep you posted.

Liz Becker

Yep, it's that time of year when the autism blogs compete to see who ranks in the top 25 on Babble.com  It's a big deal for those of us trying to reach as many parents and educators as possible with teaching strategies and stories on raising the autistic child.  Many, many of you have read my stories and visited my website, World According to Matt at http://worldaccordingtomatt.com.  We are almost at a whopping 350,000 visitors!

Autism Awareness and helping others dealing with the challenges of autism is why I started the site.  People from around the globe have tuned in and I am overwhelmed at the response.  I am asking that you take a minute and vote - seems like shameless self promotion and I am sorry for that - but the big picture here is that if - and that's a really big IF - we get into the top 25 then more people will find us and the goal of autism awareness is served to an even greater audience.

If you are a fan of the site then please vote.  Here's the link.