We consider it sort of lucky that Alex provides what Custer referred to as “a target-rich environment” in the world of picking up. In other words, a lot of crap on the floor. “We’re going to pick up now, Alex!” seems to set the right mood these days for teaching this valuable life skill. Alex is learning. Last night, he put away newly done but undried laundry hanging in the bathroom. I found my long johns this morning on the floor of his closet, but he tried. We’ve developed a few methods to help him pitch in on picking up...

at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy 

The move to brand “retard” as derogatory and shelve the word for good has gotten a real shot in the arm from recent usage. Rahm Emanuel, chief of staff to President Obama, recently used the word during a White House meeting on health-care legislation, and was forced to apologize. A consultant to Texas Gov. Rick Perry then used the word during a conference call. Then Rush Limbaugh said something “retarded.”

Special-needs people from special-needs activist groups to Sarah Palin fired back; several states have also banned or are about to vote on banning “mentally retarded” (not to mention, in some states, “idiot,” “lunatic” and “mentally deficient”) from the state’s law wording...

at http://thefastertimes.com/specialneeds/2010/02/25/its-time-to-erase-the-r-word/

Alex started coming home with the dolls a few months ago. One every Saturday, it seemed, when he got off the bus from his rec program. He’d round the yellow hood cutching one in his hand. One week it was the grandfather doll, another week the grandmother, another the teacher and another the student. One week he scampered to the front door of our building holding what appeared to be the doll of a middle-age teacher wearing leg braces. The grandfather (Alex calls him “grandpa”) is wearing a tourquoise sweater, the grandmother (“grandma”) a maroon pullover and big tan shoes. The teacher is holding a cell phone. The guy with the dark hair and the green shirt and brown striped tie started his life with Alex as “Daddy,” but now he’s “Uncle Rob.” “Aunt Julie” is wearing a dark blue jacket and has intensely grey hair. (We haven’t told the real Aunt Julie about this yet.)...

Reposted from last week:  read more »

Here’s how I wish it had gone in the line at the grocery store that quiet Sunday morning:

(As Jeff pulls out his old wallet to pay, his credit cards and other plastic spills.)

Jeff: Alex, help me pick these up please.

(Alex bends over and quickly begins helping his father as the man in the line behind Jeff and the cashier both smile.)

Man: Help your father, Alex. That’s a good boy.

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You may have heard that they wanted to hold that big terrorism trial in downtown Manhattan, in what would no doubt be a lively courthouse at the southern tip of the island on which I and my family live.

You wouldn’t think that this event – with its attendant NYPD checkpoints, rooftop sniper guards, and overall sense of not telling yourself over and over that a suicide bomber intent on destruction is going to succeed no matter what the police erect – would have much to do with Alex’s junior high school. But like a drop of dishwashing soap dripped into a pan of greasy water, the event has caused the NYC Department of Education to move as many schoolchilden as possible from what could be a new Ground Zero. That in turn has caused new crowding in many schools up the length of Manhattan...

at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy

My wife Jill’s cousin Allen died yesterday. He died of a heart attack. He was 48, and he has a son with autism. “Had.” I guess I meant to write “had” there.

They lived in Chicago, and I saw Allen and his son Eric on New Year’s Eve. “Is it okay if we come?” Allen asked ...

at http://www.yaiautismcommunity.org/blog/

Dawning sexuality in the autistic sometimes takes the form of self-aggressive behavior, such as arm biting and slapping of one’s own face. I did not know that, but I learn it at this seminar, where another dad of an 11-year-old has just said his son does that.

“Can I expect an intensification of that kind of aggressive behavior?” the dad asks.

“You can expect an intensification of sexual behavior,” replies the speaker, a soft-spoken psychologist who reminds me of David Steinberg. David Steinberg had a really funny guest spot on “The Odd Couple” years ago, long before I had an autistic son with hair in new places and I suddenly had to attend seminars entitled “Sexuality and People With Developmental Disabilities”...

at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy

Alex gets off the school bus one afternoon and says, “Going to Michael’s?”

“We’re not going to Michael’s,” says Jill. “Not today, Alex. Michael’s is not an everyday thing, though that would be nice, I admit.”

Michael’s, in case you don’t live near a strip mall, is an arts-and-crafts box store stocking everything from artists’ palettes and oils to scale plastic models of WWII dive bombers. A Michael’s just opened near us; already Alex has tricked me into going there.

at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy

When we decide to get off Alex off the pretzels, there’s maybe a bag and half of Rold Gold Original Thins left in the house, scattered through three bags. Not much left but fragments and salt, either.

“Alex, no more pretzels in a few days, you know.”

We plan to substitute ice cream. What kid in their right mind is going to turn down that deal? I’m betting that eventually Alex will, and he adores ice cream. He recently graduated to chocolate from just vanilla, so that’s progress. “Pret-zul!” I imagine he’ll say. “Pret-ZUL!”...

at http://jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy/index.blog

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All of a sudden Alex has a line along his upper lip. At first, like every parent of a boy pushing 12, I assumed it was dirt. Then I assumed it was shadow. Then I realized that Alex is getting older and older and older, and suddenly another milestone was gone.

He has a pencil line, like Matt Dillion's in Something About Mary, a line that curls around the corners of Alex's lips. I feel like I'll just turn around and Alex will soon look like Burt Reynolds in all those pin-ups from when I was about Alex's age. I'll have to remember to get Alex gold medals and necklaces to hang in his chest hair.

He has hair in other places, too...

at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy