Our son lives in a group home 2 and a half hours away. He is now an adult and seems to be handling the move to the group home.  He will be there two years in April. He was more than we could handle as far as his behavior and we made the very difficult decission to place him in the care of others. I still worry about his care because he has limited verbal skills and he seems very aggitated on the weekends. I know my son well and know that weekends are hard due to no school or day program. He loved school and was heart broken when he could nolonger attend. We went through a number of adult day programs and due to the fact of both elderly and disabled were mixed  our son did not last long and was asked to leave.  We went through about 4 day programs and in home care.We had to move him out of our city in order to find a day program. Once I developed breast cancer I knew we had to find our son a place where we would not have the major task of his daily care. We have him visit at least three times a year but I still worry about his care. He calls every evening and sometimes I hear the anger in his voice. I would love to have him closer to home. I worry because he just goes into a rage when he feels that it is time for him to have a home visit.  We need more supports for when our children are adults and the numbers are growing. Will any of us have the needed private or governments supports for the long term care of our loved ones with autism ?  

 As my son goes into adulthood and we are getting older, I am trying to be a responsible parent.  I have set up our wills and have found no one to accept the overseeing of my son. I am an only child and my husbands family were not very supportive of our adoption of Chris so I know none would step forward. My son is an only child. He was a difficult child to raise and we thought of adopting again but, Chris took so much of our time we did feel it would  be fair to bring another child into that kind of turmoil.  Since my own battle with breast cancer I have become more aware of how time is passing . My mom has set up her will and since she is an only child everything has been left to me. I have gone to a workshop on setting up a trust. I have read that my son could lose all his important  supports if he received anything from my Mom's estate. I know it would be the same if we left him our estate. My main concern is that my son be well cared for when we are no longer here. We are not wealthy but have a home, life insurence ect.  I will find someone to help me with the trust but my only stumbling block is to find some one to over see the funds. We have some close friends but they have children of their own. I will continue to focus on getting things set up but I have great concern for my son when we are nolonger here to make sure he is being cared for.      Any one with any ideas are welcome

This is the first Thanksgiving that our son has not been home. He is living in a group home 2 1/2 hours away and we decided to have him home for Christmas longer. Holidays were always hard for Chris. He never played with toys ( took them apart yes but play with them not a bit ) He loved power tools but at a young age I Think he was about ten at the time we did not feel safe with him and a real power tool. We got him a tape of the New Yankee Workshop and we watched it at least 20 times. He also loved wallpaper books, so that was an easy gift. As the years went by we added to the wallpaper book collection. My son has a wonderful memory. I had run out of wrapping paper and took a page from one of his wallpaper books. He had about ten so I did not think he would miss it. ( boy was I wrong ) He came to me and had the book open to the page and asked " where is it " I told him I had to use it for a gift and he showed his discomfort by hiding all ten of his books under his bed. I missed him this Thanksgiving but understand that it is time for me to break the apron strings. My husband knew it was time a few years back but I did not feel anyone could care or understand our son like we could. I am pleased to say I was wrong. He is now a wonderful 28 year old young man doing well and learning to live as independent as possible. My best wishes for a wonderful holiday to all families here. Hug your kids they grow up very fast

 As a parent of a young man with autism, I can not tell you how many times well meaning adults made rude comments when our son was having a melt down in a public place. I think today it may be a bit easier as the word Autism is more well known. We adopted our son when he was four and when he was small it was a bit easier to get him out of the store quickly before things went flying. Now that he is 5'11 and 165 it is a bit of a challenge. We have had run ins with nurses who have written down our license plate and turned us into child protective services, police officers, etc. I am a firm believer my son has the same rights as anyone but with so many bad experiences we had become a bit gun shy at taking Chris out. We learned to scope out places before taking Chris. We would talk to the store managers and restaurant  workers about our son and when we would be bringing Chris.  We became more at ease and with us being more at ease  so was Chris. He loves to go to the big hardware stores and using this idea he has made some great friends. Our kids and  adults have a right to be out in public they and others just may need a little support along the way.

Just wanted to note that autism does improve with time and things get better but the autism really never goes away. Every child and adult is different. My son Chris is now 26 and living in a group home 2 1/2 miles away. He is doing well but it was a long journey to get where we are today. Our son has limited language and still has angry outburst where his daily routine is changed. It was not so hard to explaine when it was young but now that he is an adult we have had a number of run ins with law inforcement when he has been out of control. Too all you parents of young children please plan for your children with autism as you would plan for your other children who do not have autism. My son to this day says that he had a "very sad day for Chris" at his last day of school. We need programs for our young children but we also need long term programs for our adults.