"JACOB....IS.....TRYING....TO.....PEE....ON....ME!!!!!!"  I am jolted by this announcement as I stand over the stove trying to make popcorn for a special treat.  I run into the bathroom to see Elizabeth sitting on the toilet, and Jacob standing beside the toilet pee streaming down his leg, toilet and floor.  I look at Elizabeth with tears in her eyes.  "Jacob- lets go upstairs and use the potty," I say as I am pulling him away from the toilet.  "No!" he says back.  "Jacob, we either need to go upstairs and use the potty or you need to wait for Elizabeth to be done."  "Wait for Elizabeth...." his voice trails off.  He tries to release himself from my grip so he can finish peeing ....while Elizabeth is still sitting on the toilet.  I hold him back.  He is getting angry.  Elizabeth quickly finishes.  "Go ahead Jacob....I am done."  She doesn't hold a grudge.  Jacob finishes peeing.  I cup his eyes so that he can not look away.  "Jacob you can not pee while your sister is on the potty.  You need to wait, or use the other potty.  It is not acceptable to pee while Elizabeth is on the potty."  He escapes from me and runs into the living room.  I walk into the kitchen to see Elizabeth, and finish my popcorn.  "You okay?  You know he doesn't mean it right?" She had already forgot about the incident.  She says "I know he doesn't mean it.  Is the popcorn done?"  We are now just listening to the popcorn pop.  Elizabeth is dancing to the pops.  Jacob walks into the kitchen.  "Can I have popcorn please."  I tell him it will just be a minute.  He hears the popcorn popping, and starts jumping and flapping.  He flaps on Elizabeth....directly in the eye.  Her eyes well up with fresh tears.  I hug her to me.  "Are you okay?"  Her little body is clinging tight to mine as the sounds of the popping continue as well as Jacob jumpin  read more »

"HE.  CAN'T.  TALK.  BACK!!!!" These words were being screamed at me by Elizabeth (3yrs old) regarding her 5 year old brother Jacob.  The two of them were in the bath tub, and Elizabeth desperately wanted the pink duck that Jacob was clutching.  I had suggested that instead of asking me for the pink duck Elizabeth should ask her brother directly.  She had shot me a look that could have killed, and went on to mumble to him that she wanted that duck.  Jacob was not responding to her at all, and we were well past the point of mild frustration for Elizabeth.  I sympathized with her feelings.  She was after all only three years old.  I am nearly twenty eight years old and no where near understanding the complexity of ASD.  I knew that however frustrating this situation may be for Elizabethand Jacob that I needed to pursue it....to see it through.  We needed to work on communication between the two children.  I had been the go between for the children for almost a year now.  Anytime that  Elizabeth wanted something that Jacob had she always asked me.  The times that Elizabeth had something that Jacob wanted he either grabbed it from her hands or asked/told me.  I needed the children to start a dialogue.  I looked at Elizabeth and said in my calmest most assured voice, "He can talk.  He may not be able to find his words as quickly as you or I, but we love him very much and so we will be patient and understanding."  I swung Jacob around so he was facing Elizabeth.  I tilted his chin up so that his face was so close to hers.  I said " Come on Liz let's try again." Her eyes were welled up with tears at this point, and her face displayed a look that was certainly not optimistic.  "Can I have pink duck please."  No response.  "Use his name please.  Say Jacob can I have pink duck please."  She breathes in.  "Jacob can I have pink duck please.  Jacob can I have pink duck PLEASE."  Ja  read more »

"Our daugher is two and a half.  She is lively and energetic.  Our son is four, and he is on the spectrum...." the father stated letting his voice trail away.  I was sitting at an interview with a potential new family.  The mother and father were seated around me now waiting for my response.  We had communicated over the course of several days via email about their children, and my possible employment.  They had of course told me a bit about the children.  Their ages, interests and dislikes had all been shared with me.  The fact that their son was Autistic had not been stated until now.  I had worked as a nanny for four families prior to this time.  I had taken care of many children.  I did not have any experience with Autism.  My first thought was "can I handle this?" I knew little about Autism. 

It is now one year later.  Elizabeth and Jacob are now one year older.  I am now one year wiser.   I have become part of a new community.  A community of parents, caregivers, teachers, and children who all care about and are affected by Autism.  As I have watched Jacob grow over this past year I have become his biggest cheerleader.  Each time he greets me when I pick him up from school my heart aches with pride.  When he independently drew a cow instead of just writing numbers over and over again I wanted to shout from the rooftops.  When he mocked me as I started to ask him to please not climb on the bookshelves I could not have been any happier. This is a battle and we are winning I want to tell him!!! His victorys may seem small but they are so big! Everyday is a new opportunity for us to grow and learn.  Everyday is a chance to make progress.  This is a fight, and we will not be defeated for Jacob is a champion!