I've gotten hooked on watching the 2008 Olympics.  It's easier to watch them than it would be if my sons were at home, because Owen probably wouldn't be interested in them, and he would be yelling at the TV:  "I HATE it!"  Since my boys are with their grandparents at a time-share vacation condo in another state, I am savoring the opportunity to soak up the Olympic coverage in peace.

For most of my childhood and even during my college years, my mother and I watched the Olympics together with a fervor bordering on obsession.  Winter AND Summer versions.  Jim Craig and Rowdy Gaines, Dorothy Hamill and Nadia Comaneci...I can fondly recall all of my Mom's favorite Olympic stars.  My three siblings never caught Olympic fever, nor did my Dad.  It was just Mom and I, glued to the screen for a few weeks every four years.

Now, Mom is gone (she died in 2004).  I miss the joy of watching the Games with her.  I wish that one of my boys could help me start a new mother-child Olympic-watching tradition in our family.  But I'm not holding my breath.  We'll see what happens when they return from their trip with Grandma and Grandpa, but I anticipate that Owen will follow my prediction ("I HATE it!"), and his big bro will just sigh and say dismissively, "I'm just not really a huge fan of the Olympics."

Yep, that's my firstborn's favorite catch-phrase these days:  "I'm just not really a huge fan of ___" (fill in the blank with anything imaginable).  If nothing else, his latest saying is versatile.  At a moment's notice, he can apply it to TV shows, clothing styles, Xbox games, or food items.  In whatever way he uses it, his proclamation manages to sound at least vaguely scornful, bored, AND effortless at the same time.   read more »

This morning was awesome.  I felt really relaxed for the first time since my boys left to go on a weeklong out-of-state vacation trip with their grandparents.  I took a long walk around my neighborhood and arrived at the nearest Starbucks location at about 7 AM.  I used to hang out at that Starbucks a lot more often; a couple of years ago, when I began taking classes at the community college in pursuit of a more lucrative career, I started spending many of my evening and weekend hours studying there.  An unexpected phenomenon emerged:  I found that the atmosphere was quiet and serene enough to be conducive to my academic efforts, but since it was not tomblike and uncomfortable (like the college library), I didn't find myself becoming restless, bored, and desperate to distract myself.  My study haven wasn't expensive, either; I didn't need to spend a lot of money on beverages, because I could purchase one drink and nurse it, then get some water.  And from time to time, I could take a break from the books and chat with the people there.  In the process of busting my hump to get decent grades in my coursework, I befriended most of the baristas and many of the other regular customers.  That humble Starbucks became my refuge, my primary source of any type of social life.  It occurred to me that "my" Starbucks had become a non-alcoholic "Cheers" for me:  the friendly place where everybody knows my name.  read more »

My sons left today for a weeklong trip with their Grandma and Grandpa (my husband's parents).  They are going to stay in a condo at a resort area about a 7-hour drive from us.  So my husband and I get to enjoy a respite from our parental responsibilities for a week.  I know that many parents of autistic kids don't get that kind of break.  And yet I'm having a tough time allowing myself to relax. 

Aside from my husband and me, my in-laws have taken care of our sons more than anyone.  They know our boys very well, and they are intimately familiar with Owen's behavior issues.  They have taken our sons on numerous other trips in past years.  But my mother-in-law is 69 and has heart disease and diabetes.  My father-in-law is nearly 78 and was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer several months ago (though he seems to be holding his own against the disease, and has tolerated the treatments OK).  I can't help but worry about the risks to their safety if Owen has even one serious episode of aggressive behavior.  He is only 9, but he weighs almost 100 pounds (he has gained about 35 pounds since starting his current medication nearly a year ago).  And he's freakishly strong--he always has been.  If Owen lashes out against one or both of his grandparents, they could get hurt pretty badly.  I know that my in-laws are well aware of the risks, and they still insisted on taking our boys on this trip.  But I don't think I'll be able to feel completely at ease until they return home with my sons... 

I'll be honest.  I decided to join Autism Blogger mostly out of desperation.  I've been struggling mightily with issues related to my 9-year-old son Owen's autism.  I'm a full-time mental health counselor/social worker, so I know all of the "textbook" methods I could use to relieve my stress.  I do use a lot of them.  But I often feel alone in my struggle.  I have a lot of good friends, but none of them have any kids with autism or anything that remotely resembles autism.  Along with working F/T and trying to be a good mom, I'm a P/T college student.  My driving motivation for going back to school (which I've been doing for the last 2 years already) is to make a career change to a much more lucrative field, and the main reason I feel compelled to do something that will be more profitable is that I worry a lot about having money to provide for Owen's needs when he is an adult.  I know from my 14 years of non-profit social service experience that I don't want to have to rely solely on "the system" to support my son financially.  I don't want him to have to just "get by" with whatever funding scraps the government is willing to toss his way.  I also want to start earning enough money within the next 5 years to start setting money aside for my other son's college fund.  He's almost 11 already, and we haven't saved a dime for his education.  He is an academically gifted kid who dreams of going to a particular out-of-state university, and I want to help him make that dream come true.  And since my husband and I barely get by financially right now, I also believe that a lot of my overall stress would be alleviated if I were earning a decent salary.  read more »