Sorry I didn't see the "Visits" posting right away. Don't mind me, I feel like little chunks of my brain are disappearing all the time.

Well, I guess you will always have a link to David, a cosmic link, and it's a good thing that he's the best guy you've ever known so far. It sounds like he isn't a deadbeat as far as child support goes. Does one child get his time and the other his financial support? That's a tough situation that he is in, two kids, two mother's of his children, time, distance, money, and his own youth, a bit of growing up to do, and some feelings of guilt, no doubt.

Did you say he has been talking about getting back together with you? It sounds like you are going to be more careful with your heart this time around, but you are maybe are willing to give things a try?

Well, I guess you could look at it this way, a lot of guys David's age are being deployed over to Iraq for seven months and then get to come home for four months. I heard of one guy stationed here at Camp Pendelton getting sent out four times in a row like that. Some Daddies don't come back. In either case, the mommies tell their young kids that daddy is far away and can't visit. So, in that regard, Michael is having a similar experience to a lot of his peers across America.  read more »

I tried to put these in a cute-pics forum, but it the site wouldn't let me, so... here he is before I gave him a buzzy haircut, riding an antiqu train, trying on my clothes, and dressed as Peter Pan.

Here's Wyatt being pushed along on his trike.  Obviously, steering isn't a priority for him! 

I thought this would be nicer to look at than that plastic surgery spam that got posted here. 

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this extra hurdle in your life :(  Did Susan Baker give any sort of diagnosis, such as PDD-NOS?  (Pervasvie development disorder not otherwise specified).  Is there an appeals or second opinion process?  Can you call up SSI and ask for a supervisor regarding that MR waiver?  Maybe there are other "waivers" or maybe you don't need a waiver, maybe you could qualify on income alone?  Are you sure that High Functioning Autism doesn't qualify for SSI?  Anyone else reading this, do you have any insight???  I can't believe the system is letting Michael fall through a crack! 

Don't feel selfish!  Everything that you are working toward is for Michael.  You were just looking at one way to accomplish a goal, but you may need to take another path, that's all.   It's not that you hoped he scored low, not at all!  You know what is in your heart. 

If there is anything we can do, I don't know, like ask around on some autism Yahoo groups or other blogs or make some phone calls or something, let me know!  Maybe someone out there will have some good suggestions.  Meanwhile, hang in there!!! 

Who says we are staying sane?  :)  (This is a reply to Shootingstars's post, I'm just having some technical problems--I posted a lovely reply yesterday that was promptly lost in cyberspace, so I am being forced to create a Blog entry as a reply).

Well, the obvious answer to "source of strength" and "shoulder to cry on" is a religious answer.  I think we all explore that in our own way and faith, even my husband the skeptic.  I think Faith is better than Xanax, plus Faith often comes with a support group of people to care about you, pray for you, and bring you casseroles.  But, although I haven't been short on Faith, I've been away from that scene for a while.  

All right, let's talk about the unreasonable burdens and demands that are placed on us Mom's of ASD kids.  Let's face it, it takes most of my energy to just take care of and clean up after Wyatt.  Meeting his basic needs, buying groceries, doing laundry, vacuuming, dishes, cooking, getting him from point A to point B all the time, that wears out any mom.  Now we add a layer of IEP meetings, therapy sessions, insurance paperwork, OK--I guess I can handle that.  No, wait, we forgot "parent training."  I'm expected to be a therapist, too! And a doctor, special diet chef, lawyer, teacher, researcher, and the list is endless.  This is our life 24/7.  But we can't live that life 24/7, it is just not good for our sanity.  read more »

I can't believe I didn't think to post this before about enzymes.  Has anyone here tried enzymes instead or in addition to the Gluten-Free Casein Free diet?  I bought some last year when I heard about them.  I had to do a little research and price comparison first, but I decided to get two different kinds, one for gluten and casein digestion and one for bean, grain, and vegetable digestion.  Now that my son is eating a broader variety of foods (this year), I am going to give these another try.  Here are the brands I tried: 

AFP-Peptizyde from HNI:  Houston Nutraceuticals, Inc., Using Nature's Science for Better Health

V-gest from Enzymedica

Other companies make enzymes including Kirkman Labs, a bio-med company that is popular with the ASD set. 

I heard that V-gest is extremely mild and a good enzyme to start with.  But I also wanted to get an enzyme that really addressed the GFCF diet.  I tried the AFP Peptizyde loose powder for sprinkling over food.  I found that it does have a very, very slight savory taste.  The drawbacks are that it says not to get it on your skin or inhale it.  That's just impossible.  Also, it tends to make sauces runny--it seems to draw the moisture out of Mac n' Cheese so that all of the enzyme is sitting in a runny pool of cheese and I wonder how much enzyme is actually getting into my child's system.  read more »

My kiddo likes to admire himself in the mirror while wearing his little underpants.   He will pose this way and that, standing on a chair.  When he is in a self-admiring mood he will bring me a pair of his underwear so I can help him put them on.  Any other time, he wants nothing to do with his undies.

Here's a picture of him up to no good, standing on a box, trying to grab our CD player from my closet. 

I am worried about discrimination based on biased, inconclusive, incomplete, compromized, and "fuzzy" scientified "studies."  Groups like the Nazi's performed all sorts of grotesque and bestial reproductive (and other) experiments on the Jews as a propaganda that they, the [Jewish] victims were sub-homan.  In the same twisted way, white supremacist groups have lots of psuedo-scientific progaganda out there "proving" that other races are infererior due to reduced cranial size or whatever nonsense.

It disturbs me when I read about scientific "findings" that certain lobes of autistic brains may be smaller or certain neurons may be missing.  I worry that this information will be used to discriminate against our children.  Really, the brain is a powerful and mysterious organ.  Haven't we all read that theory that people actually only use 95% of their brain's true capacity?  If so, then what difference does it make if one lobe of an autistic person's brain really is a little smaller than that of a typical persons?  What difference does it make if someone is missing a certain neuron if the person can perform the same capability using different channels in the brain?  Of course, of course, of course, I am NOT against scientific research!  Quite the opposite!  I just don't want it to be shoddily done or to come back to bite my kid.  read more »

What if autism turned out to be caused by a virus?  If autism turned out to be caused by a virus, then wouldn't it be ironic if there was eventually a preventative vaccine, you know, since there is so much controversy over a possible vaccination-autism connection. 

There are all kinds of new, scary viruses and yuckies out there.  There's Ebola, Hanta, SARS, AIDS, bird flu, Lyme disease, West Nile Virus, CJD (Mad Cow), and a bunch of nasty stuff related to bat guano.  A couple of years ago, my husband's forty-something aunt, who lives about an hour from us, got West Nile Virus and was in the hospital for 6 months, most of that in an intensive care unit.  It caused a lot of nerve damage and she's still mostly in a wheelchair.  We all got eaten alive by mosquitos that year.  What if an exposure to something like a West Nile Virus mosquito bite affects children (and their developing brains) differently than adults?

Sort of along this topic, I'm going to the LIA Lyme-Autism Connection conference in Indian Wells CA at the end of June so I'll take notes and report back to all of ya here on the blog.  There seems to be a theory that a person need not be bitten by a carrier tick to contract Lyme or syptoms of Lyme disease.  I am so interested to find out more about this.  It's very bio-medical, for sure.

I know so many people are conflicted about vaccinations these days, especially the Measles-Mumps-Rubella MMR shot.  If you know my story, you know that I chose not to have my son vaccinated.  However, he still turned out to have autism. 

Although I am still not personally in favor of the MMR shot for my son, my own cousin was a Rubella baby and is now an adult and suffering horribly from the effects of Congenital Rubella.  My aunt, when pregnant, contracted Rubella when she was in a car accident and had to go to the hospital.  She was forced to share a hospital room with a hooker (who actually had clients coming to her room at the hospital--this was back in the late '70's).  The hooker got the German Measles (Rubella) and so did my aunt.  And that caused devastating birth defects for my cousin.  He has one eye that is very small and in that eye he has glaucoma, which is very painful.  He has had 27 operations on his eye.  All of his medications caused most of his teeth to fall out.  To this day he is teased and bullied by co-workers and, because of his emotional and physical pain, it has been difficult for him to keep a job and even to take care of himself in basic ways, like having the desire to eat.  He faints from hunger. 

My aunt later learned that there was a huge Rubella epidemic in the 1970's and '80's.  The MMR shot can protect the unborn so the most important population that should be vaccinated with MMR are young adult women, in my opinion.