During the previous visit to see Dr. Bryna Siegel, 30-year autism expert extraordinaire, I broke down in tears.
That was 1.5 years ago, when the kids were almost 3. She told me in no uncertain terms that my son's moderate level autism meant that he, like 90% of kids at his level, would never be independent. I asked if he would ever marry. She firmly said, "No".
From that experience, we came to a couple of conclusions. 1) We will prepare for the worst case scenario while pushing our kids to reach the best potential possible whatever that may be, living day-by-day, and not hoping for a specific end result. 2) The goal would be happiness for the kids on THEIR terms, not ours. Dr. Siegel indicated that even high-functioning people with autism often aren't interested in romantic relationships. Fine.
Dr. Siegel is very smart, but she doesn't pull punches, and the experience, while valuable, was like being hit with a brick.