We have started a new tradition at our dinner table it’s called the “Victory Candle”. When a person in the family has accomplished something worthy we light that persons candle while we eat dinner and that person gets to share their accomplishment with the rest of the family.

Recently our 9 year old autistic daughter overcame her fear of jumping off the diving board at swimming lessons and was so proud of her self. I said “you get to light your victory candle tonight” she got to share with her bother and Dad what she had accomplished. It was tough that night because her 7 year old ADHD-ODD brother wanted to claim his victory as well. (A day with out fighting on the playground) We had to define what victory was. Some thing some one else recognizes you for, something you have overcome, or a big success at work for my husband and I. It must be above and beyond what is expected. Our son thought having no fights one day was an achievement. Yikes!

I am happy to report he too got to light his victory candle last night. His teacher sent home a special card letting us know that he went above and beyond in his work to write a letter to me. He was so proud to light his candle and could not wait to read me his letter. We were all very proud of him even his sister congratulated him.

The candles sit by our dinner table unlit unless someone has a victory to share. Sometimes we can go weeks with out lighting one but when you get to it makes it even more special.

It has been a great way to boost confidence in our autistic daughter and helped our son understand what he really needs to achieve in life to get positive recognition.