Communication is the toughest part for families on the Spectrum. It’s hard to communicate with your child who has difficulty, you can’t rely on your child to get you information you need to communicate to the people helping your child, teachers, therapists, child care providers ect. Because they appear normal or “neuro typical” people assume your child will rely the information to you. Sometimes you feel like your spinning your wheels just to get though the easiest of tasks.
Well here are some tips I have found that help get some traction and production out of your efforts.
Start by routinely having an expectation that your child will tell you something about their time apart from you. If they know that every time you get together you are going to ask them a question about their day they will be ready with some information. I always ask my kids; “How was your day at school today?” They know I am going to ask this and are now able to come up with something that we can talk about. But in the beginning they just said “good”. If I get a one word answer I then ask a more specific question. “Did you have gym or music today?” “Who did you play with on the playground?” “What did you do in Ms Cooke’s (special ed teacher) room today?” These questions usually get responses and start a dialog. In doing this my kids are learning to get me information.
Filing system for notes and letters of communication from school, church, recreation classes and family events. I have a clip board on the fridge for each of my kids (including my husband). When something comes in the door or mail I open it and briefly read it and attach it to the clip board if it doesn’t need to be addressed right away. Then once a week I go through the clip board and put the dates and times on the family calendar. Even if it’s not something I am planning on going to. Then at dinner usually on Sunday my husband and I go through the calendar for the upcoming week and plan who will be doing what. Chances are we won’t miss things then and are less stressed if something pops up that we didn’t communicate. Once the note is entered on the calendar it goes into a file in my desk under the person’s name. We will also talk about the things we may want to do as a family that aren’t commitments. This inspires our kids to talk about upcoming things at school too.
Be an information source for your child’s teachers. Get them used to your routine too. Share information about your child each time you have contact with them. “Maddie is really excited about dance class today, are you working on tap today?” This shows the teacher you are interested in how your child is doing and they will be more open about sharing things that happen in the class or make sure you get the information you need for things that may be coming up in future classes. Another good approach is to follow up on comments your child makes. “Maddie mentioned she needed a costume for the play”. You need to be a really good listener when it comes to your ASD kid.
Get your child’s teacher’s e-mail address, this has saved so much time for me! Again get into a routine with this by sharing information about your child. “Dear Ms Cooke, Maddie had a tough time focusing this morning while getting ready for school”. This let’s the teacher know what kind of day they may be in for and usually they will respond by the end of the day. I will routinely get questions answered too about something my child may not have communicated to me.
Communication note book, Maddie has an assignment notebook. She writes down what is to be done each day at school and at home for homework. This has been really good for her, it’s a start to calendars and planners. I often send notes in this book to the teacher about her homework or questions I may have about homework.
These are just some things I have found that help keep me informed and less stressed about what is happening next with my Autistic child. Hope it helps.
