Hello everyone!  My name is Josephine Webster, I am a 26 year old mother to four boys, one of which is named Joshuah who is five and was diagnosed with Autism last year.  I have been wanting to join a support network for a while but just haven't had the chance to do so.  Or maybe I didn't want to tell myself that I really needed help from anyoone other than the doctors and my family.  Obviously we all know we can only go so long with the support of them.  So I am here in hopes to get support from other parents when it comes to the daily life in which we all have become familiar with. 

 Joshuah was always a tempermental child.  Even as a baby it seemed like no matter what we did he would only stay happy or settled for a little while.  However he crawled when he was suppose to, walked when he turned 13 months, and seemed to smile and coo and laugh just like his older brother Floyd did at that age.  When Joshuah was 16 months old we welcomed our third son Ambrose to the world.  But unbeknown to us at the time of his birth, Ambrose was born with a heart defect.  We went to the hospital to have a baby, only to be gone for the next 9 months.  It was hard on everyone.  One thing after another happened with Ambrose, he went into Cardiac arrest three days after we got to Children's Hospital In Milwaukee and ended up on ECMO and then went into Kidney and Liver Failure, suffered a massive stroke, and developed seizures.  Their father and I never intended to choose to be with one child over the other, however that is what happened.  Joshuah and our older son Floyd stayed with my mom in Oneida, which is two hours away from Children's Hospital  She brought them down every friday and went home sunday evening, but it never got any easier to see them leave.  Our living quarters was a bedroom with two single beds and a bathroom, so often times Joshuah would get quite unruly.  He would cry alot, scream more than usual, and throw these tantrums which we couldn't explain.  But the entire time we would do anything we could to satisfy him in order to be able to keep him content while we were at the hospital.  We never thought there was anything wrong with him. 

As time went by and we were finally able to bring Ambrose home and get our lives back to "normal" Joshuah still didn't act like other children his age.  He always wanted to play by himself and if anyone, even his brother, would try and join in it was a disaster!  He would often point to what he wanted, but never really talked.  We thought it was because Floyd knew so much about him that he didn't need to talk.  Soon the tantrums, screaming and anger seemed to get worse.  There was so many days I would put my screaming, shreiking child in the car and drive with tears running down my face, hoping my mom would know what to do.  It was so hard.  She always seemed to know how to calm him down, yet there always seemed to be something he wanted and we could never figure out what it was.

 One day I went to work and my co-worker was telling me about her daughter who was Autistic.  I remember interrupting her and asking her what it was.  As she began to tell me, I couldn't believe how it seemed as if she was telling me about Joshuah to a T!  Once I told her that Joshuah does all the same things she told me I needed to get him checked by his pediatrician asap.  Luckily I worked in the Clinic where my son's doctor worked and he got us in the next day.  All the questions and tests they had me fill out showed Joshuah may have Autism.  He referred us to a doctor at Milwaukee Children's Hospital, however we weren't able to get an appointment for 11 months!  That was the longest 11 months of my life.  I knew the appointment was made, but it was just making it without any help for that long. 

When we finally got to the appointment we didn't hear the news that we thought we were going to get.  The PA said it was not Autism.  Based on our story and what was happening, they said he was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress because of Ambrose's Medical Problems.  The fact that we left him when he was 16 months caused significant stress on him and he was never able to recover.  I could of just cried.  Not only were they telling me he didn't have Autism, but that I was the reason he acted the way he did.  They made us another appointment and told us to come back in 6 months to see if there was any changes.  In the meantime we were to get strict on his sleep pattern and more stern with him.  I didn't agree. 

So when we left that day I called my pediatrician and wanted another appointment.  His support wasn't like I had intended and he said that he would agree with the PA's diagnosis.  I remember telling him, "I'm here begging for help.  I don't know what to do with him anymore, and I know there is something wrong.  What gets me is if I came in here saying I was going to beat my son because all he does is scream, throw fits and is never happy, you would be the first one to call the cops on me."  He interrupted and said,"Is that how you feel?"  I said, "No but some days it can get so frusterating that one could go to those extremes."  Of course that got me no where and I decided he wasn't the right doctor for us. 

I then got another Pediatrician who agreed to refer Joshuah to a Child Psychologist.  And you know that appointment took forever to get as well.  So by the time I went back to Milwaukee for Joshuah's follow up down there I told his PA I didn't agree with her diagnosis and that I was getting a second opinion.  To my surprise she said that she had given him a Provisional Diagnosis of PDD!  Wow!  Until that day no one had ever mentioned that, not even her!  I don't think she liked the fact that I was getting a second opinion.  From there we started him on Risperadal with the hopes of his tantruming to be down.  But it did nothing.  And since then he have tried him on Methilin and Adderall, with either doing much.  Actually I take that back, they last two seemed to calm him down, but when the dose was near its end his anger is 10x worse than before, and I'm not sure what to do anymore!

As for today we are getting by.  With the grace of GOD and my tribe (we are Native American), Joshuah was able to get his intensive in home therapy paid for.  So everyday their are two therapists who come to our house and work with him from 9:30 am until 4pm.  Although I feel like our lives aren't our own anymore, I know that this is all going to benefit Joshuah tremendously, in fact it has already!  Joshuah can carry a conversation with you, can tell you what he wants, and most recently is finally out of diapers (Still with the troubles of pooping!)  All this he was not able to do in December when they first started coming.  Sure his tantrums are still there (in fact he is throwing one right by my feet as I type), and we are still trying to extinct the screaming, but I am grateful for all the help I've gotten up to this point. 

Thank you all for listening to my long story!  I know theres many more out there, and more so I hope there are many willing to help me get through this!