"JACOB....IS.....TRYING....TO.....PEE....ON....ME!!!!!!" I am jolted by this announcement as I stand over the stove trying to make popcorn for a special treat. I run into the bathroom to see Elizabeth sitting on the toilet, and Jacob standing beside the toilet pee streaming down his leg, toilet and floor. I look at Elizabeth with tears in her eyes. "Jacob- lets go upstairs and use the potty," I say as I am pulling him away from the toilet. "No!" he says back. "Jacob, we either need to go upstairs and use the potty or you need to wait for Elizabeth to be done." "Wait for Elizabeth...." his voice trails off. He tries to release himself from my grip so he can finish peeing ....while Elizabeth is still sitting on the toilet. I hold him back. He is getting angry. Elizabeth quickly finishes. "Go ahead Jacob....I am done." She doesn't hold a grudge. Jacob finishes peeing. I cup his eyes so that he can not look away. "Jacob you can not pee while your sister is on the potty. You need to wait, or use the other potty. It is not acceptable to pee while Elizabeth is on the potty." He escapes from me and runs into the living room. I walk into the kitchen to see Elizabeth, and finish my popcorn. "You okay? You know he doesn't mean it right?" She had already forgot about the incident. She says "I know he doesn't mean it. Is the popcorn done?" We are now just listening to the popcorn pop. Elizabeth is dancing to the pops. Jacob walks into the kitchen. "Can I have popcorn please." I tell him it will just be a minute. He hears the popcorn popping, and starts jumping and flapping. He flaps on Elizabeth....directly in the eye. Her eyes well up with fresh tears. I hug her to me. "Are you okay?" Her little body is clinging tight to mine as the sounds of the popping continue as well as Jacob jumping and flapping with delight. She looks at me. "He doesn't mean it" she says tearfully. I put her down and get myself eye level with Jacob. "You need to be careful of your sister" I say firmly. He looks at me. "Can I have popcorn please?"
Does anyone else have a situation similiar to mine? Jacob is five years old and on the spectrum. Elizabeth is nearly four and typical. I feel so sad sometimes for her....that she must feel invisible.....
Far from being invisible,
Far from being invisible, Elizabeth will probably become THE person in Jacob's life that he will actually depend on the most. She has the best opportunity of anyone to become Jacob's truest friend. To achieve that role will take some patience and persistence on her part - most of us find it difficult to show our love for a person who does not show their reciprocal love in ways in which we expect it to be shown. Yes, sometimes love can be shown by "peeing." - Perhaps Jacob really wanted just to "share" the toilet with his best friend?
Like Cindy, my son is also an only child, but because I worked, he spent much of his time growing up at his cousin's house. There was one, a girl, who was almost the same age. They had a LOT of issues with each other, but she has always been his best friend - and often his only real friend. At times, it has been extremely difficult for her. She has, at times, born a greater burden than some girls her age for staunchly standing by someone that others taunted and she battled with people who refused to see the wonderful person inside - putting her own reputation and popularity on the line. In the process, she has grown into an exceptional person - not self-absorbed, not shallow nor materialistic, not "lost." Perhaps it is thanks to my son that she now possesses courage, compassion, honesty and purpose - all the tools that society claims to use to define people of good character. Oh yeah - and she has a real sense of humour, too.
What a wonderful and
What a wonderful and encouraging story! Thank you so much for sharing that with me....it brought tears to my eyes.
Hi there, My son is an only
Hi there, My son is an only child. We're older parents. Last night for the first time ever he leaned against
the side of the couch and peed all over the floor ugh lol. I hurried & gave him a quick rinse off in the shower.
Daddy got the carpet cleaner & our dog just stood there and looked at me like "Okay he can pee on the
floor but I cant?" Actually she's very good, she doesnt have accidents in the house. My advice is you just have
to learn to laugh at some of this stuff. As for your daughter, look how well she handled your son trying to go
potty when she was on the toilet. She'll be fine. She's going to grow up to be loving and patient. Youre fortunate
your son talks at all. My son is non verbal. At least he tried to go in the potty woo hoo! Marcel is 8, almost 9
& wears pull ups. I havent seen you before, you must be new. WELCOME =)
Thanks for the advice and
Thanks for the advice and sharing. Sometimes I feel guilty about how much attention and energy is spent on Jacob. I don't want Elizabeth to feel less important or loved. Jacob is mostly potty trained. He still wears pullups at night and if we are going out somewhere for a longer period of time. He has fewer and fewer accidents as time passes. I am very proud of him. Jacob has made so much progress in communicating over the last year. He was almost completely nonverbal a year and a half ago....now he really can communicate his needs well. Jacob and Elizabeth are actually not my children...I am their nanny. I looked for a website for nannies that cared for children on the spectrum, but I could not find one. I decided to join this group because it seemed pretty welcoming....which by the way...thank you for welcoming me. I really appreciate it.
Tammy Lessick Story Time
Tammy Lessick
Story Time Felts, Ind. Consultant
www.learningfelt.com
When I started reading and read Elizabeth, I really felt a connection. My youngest is 5 and her name is Elizabeth. My son, 9yr, takes a lot of time and attention, and sometimes I feel guilty that Elizabeth might feel neglected. Especially when she asks me something and I have to tell her "after I do ---- for Dean", Fill in the blank with whatever I need to do for him at the time. Dean is very dependent on us. As he has gotten older, and has learned to do more for himself, we have more time for Elizabeth. I make a point of doing things just with Elizabeth, but I can't just stop what I am doing for Dean and help her. Elizabeth is great. She seems to understand and Dean is her best friend.