Where do you find your strength from? They say a mother can rise to any occasion, but I wonder if that is really true. When does giving more than what you have become too hard or breaks you down? It seems like every day is a roller coaster. Somedays I feel like I can conquer the world, others I want to hide from it. I could lie and say these days rotate by what is on the calendar, but nothing can change between two days and my whole emotional state of being may flop or fly.
Sometimes I would give anything for a shouler to lean on. I wish I could act my age. But choices I made 4 years ago changed everything. I love Michael more than anything in life, and I feel horridly guilty for those feelings. I wish I could find a source of strength that would help me be really strong rather than faking a smile for sanity's sake.
