My sons left today for a weeklong trip with their Grandma and Grandpa (my husband's parents). They are going to stay in a condo at a resort area about a 7-hour drive from us. So my husband and I get to enjoy a respite from our parental responsibilities for a week. I know that many parents of autistic kids don't get that kind of break. And yet I'm having a tough time allowing myself to relax.
Aside from my husband and me, my in-laws have taken care of our sons more than anyone. They know our boys very well, and they are intimately familiar with Owen's behavior issues. They have taken our sons on numerous other trips in past years. But my mother-in-law is 69 and has heart disease and diabetes. My father-in-law is nearly 78 and was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer several months ago (though he seems to be holding his own against the disease, and has tolerated the treatments OK). I can't help but worry about the risks to their safety if Owen has even one serious episode of aggressive behavior. He is only 9, but he weighs almost 100 pounds (he has gained about 35 pounds since starting his current medication nearly a year ago). And he's freakishly strong--he always has been. If Owen lashes out against one or both of his grandparents, they could get hurt pretty badly. I know that my in-laws are well aware of the risks, and they still insisted on taking our boys on this trip. But I don't think I'll be able to feel completely at ease until they return home with my sons...
I know exactly what you
I know exactly what you mean. My son is only 4 1/2 and weighs about 75 pounds. He's big, tall, and strong. I can't imagine what he'll be like at age 9. It's really brave of your in-laws. My son's grandma's and their husbands are very physically healthy and relatively young, but I am SURE they would not take my son on an extended camping trip. Actually, my mom-in-law, who is not a snob but cited safety reasons, wouldn't even let us stay at her house last time we visited. Although, she did pay for our hotel stay.
Well, we talked to my
Well, we talked to my mother-in-law and my sons last night. I don't want to jinx anything, but the first full day of their trip went well. No significant problems, and on top of that, my in-laws bought my sons toys (as if they needed more!). A set of Hot Wheels cars for Owen, and a new Bionicle for his big bro. So the boys were in New Toy Heaven. Their grandparents spoil them to some extent, but hey...
Yes, it is really brave of my in-laws to take my sons on any sort of trip, let alone an out-of-state trek that involves several hours in the car, each way. I'm as grateful as I am nervous about the whole thing. My own parents do not even babysit my sons--at all. But I can understand that, because my father has Parkinson's. He is very unsteady on his feet, and so frail. The last time we visited my father and stepmother, Dad lost his balance and fell, out of the blue, on the dining room floor. Fortunately, he didn't hurt himself. I don't blame him and my stepmom for not feeling up to the task of watching my sons.