Is it wrong to envy other families children and the normalcy that they posses?

This being my first child I had certain expectations of what parenthood was going to be like, and in some ways these expectations were met. However there are things that we as parents of autistic children are experiencing that are unlike that of other parents. Everyday i am learning new ways to revel in those differences, and appreciate the fact that I have a daughter that is unlike her peers. In some ways their lives seem mundane, or average. And at times I find myself overtly happy that our life is somewhat different, but their are times that I am envious of other families. And i find myself at a crossroads wondering if it is altogether wrong to be envious of what they have.

Recently I attended an Autism Workshop with Donna Williams and I have to say it was fantastic. Donna had many wonderful ideas and strategies on dealing with different aspects of autism, addressing issues and problems in a way that I had never really heard before. Her thoughts and ideas were so practical and user friendly, to the point where I was able to come home and try out some new strategies straight away.

Donna talked about the ‘Fruit Salad Model’ of Autism. She noted that whilst most people understand that every case of autism is different, people also need to realise that we can’t address or treat the difficulties of autism with a ‘one size fits all’ approach.

During the afternoon I took many notes (which I am now still making sense of, but will eventually be able to put into a format that is understandable) and really had my eyes opened to different ways of tackling problems.

Donna talked a lot about finding the right way to work with different personality types..........

As any parent with a child who has autism would understand, it can be nightmarish facing the real world where there is often harsh judgement and a lack of understanding. For myself, it is often an effort to ‘face the world’ and the safety of home is very comforting..........

(Rest of my thoughts on the workshop at http://managingautism.com/autism-spectrum-disorder/donna-williams-autism-workshop)

Elissa :-)

I used to be an extremely sociable person, and this was by far the time of year I loved the most. You get together with family and friends and sit around and talk about life; yours, mine and things in general. Its a little different now. Well let me start over; I had a bad day, well actually I had a bad couple of days. I have a four year old autistic child, love her to death, she is my joy, for the most part. But just like most of you here, we have good days; were I am so optimistic about life, and I find myself thinking that things are going to work out fine, she'll get older have friends, walk, talk and be "normal". And then there are the days that I have been having lately, those days that I just want to curl up under the covers and cry myself into a new reality. Those days where not only will she not eat but she knocks all the food on the floor, or those days where she cry's countinuously non-stop for hours to the point where, Myself and her father have to step outside to argue and place the blame(because when things go bad as they often do, the faultline has to lie somewhere....if only for a moment). And on the bad days things seem like they cant get any worse...until they do. Right around Thanksgiving, my daughter had a breakthru, see she doesnt walk , or use normal speech (she does some signing, but mostly we use pictures, and do a llot of guessing). But her teachers had been calling and telling us how well she was doing at school; standing all day, and walking long distances in her gait trainer, even doing some spoon feeding on her own at home, just making a lot of progress in general. Then saturday and we couldnt get her to eat, she's fighting, and exibiting a lot of SIB's. Then the nonstop crying. now usually at this point we put her in the tub because bathtime calms her down tremendously, but not today.  read more »

We're posting a series of people's favourite videos raising awareness of autism, and celebrating what we love about autism. It's an opportunity to share what's important to families and people living with autism.

We would love to hear from anyone who has something to contribute, or perhaps who is just wanting to watch some really heartfelt messages. Please click here on this link, and then leave your message and link to the video in any of the comments areas. We look forward to you joining us in our celebrating and raising awareness of autism.

Elissa :-)

This is the first Thanksgiving that our son has not been home. He is living in a group home 2 1/2 hours away and we decided to have him home for Christmas longer. Holidays were always hard for Chris. He never played with toys ( took them apart yes but play with them not a bit ) He loved power tools but at a young age I Think he was about ten at the time we did not feel safe with him and a real power tool. We got him a tape of the New Yankee Workshop and we watched it at least 20 times. He also loved wallpaper books, so that was an easy gift. As the years went by we added to the wallpaper book collection. My son has a wonderful memory. I had run out of wrapping paper and took a page from one of his wallpaper books. He had about ten so I did not think he would miss it. ( boy was I wrong ) He came to me and had the book open to the page and asked " where is it " I told him I had to use it for a gift and he showed his discomfort by hiding all ten of his books under his bed. I missed him this Thanksgiving but understand that it is time for me to break the apron strings. My husband knew it was time a few years back but I did not feel anyone could care or understand our son like we could. I am pleased to say I was wrong. He is now a wonderful 28 year old young man doing well and learning to live as independent as possible. My best wishes for a wonderful holiday to all families here. Hug your kids they grow up very fast

To do which diet? Which doctor? all these initials DAN,CAN,PDD,CDD,NIDS,ADD,OCD

Whats a mom to do and where to start I'm on a journey

Sally

After a really hectic couple of weeks preparing our son, who has autism, for his transition to school next year, we decided to have a weekend break.  So we have just returned, feeling refreshed, and ready to go again.

We have found one of the most challenging things to deal with in relation to our son’s autism spectrum disorder, has been trying to make our way through what sometimes seems a never ending list of specialists to see, therapies to organise, and strategies to implement.

After we had our son’s official diagnosis confirmed, we emotionally ‘fell in a heap’ (so to speak).  The months of assessment had really taken their toll and the relief at finally having an answer was quite overwhelming.  Probably like many parents who have travelled the long and difficult road to diagnosis, we found ourselves thinking that once we’d got that far, the hard bit was done.  But of course, it was only really beginning.

After the Diagnosis the challenges really begin…

We have decided upon trying V & S to regulate Mr. A's behaviors.  He will have several different and when I have them they will be shared.  Has anyone tried this and what were the results?

New member to the group here. I have a two year old son who has
been diagnosed with Autism and is receiving the services of Family
Junction/Birth to Three (A State of Connecticut program) for about the last 7 months or so...I am
seeing imporvements, and I am happy for that.
I myself have been in the Fire Service, and have been a 10 year Pre-
Hospital Care Provider, at the EMT level for a number of volunteer
and/or commercial EMS services. I have also had the opportunity to
teach in the Emergency Services & Law Enforcement field over the years as well.
I am wondering if there are any other members of this group who are
either in the Fire Service, Law Enforcement, or Emergency Medical
Services?
I would like to discuss some topics relevant to Autism and "our"
jobs out in the field, and some ideas I am "kicking around" along
with all the other thoughts, that are rattling around in my brain at
any given time like pocketful of change and soda can tabs!

Look forward to learning from those of you in this forum, about
your experiences, so I can learn from them as I raise my son.
I hope each of you have a good day, that is as happy as you can
make it for yourself and your families.

Until next time- Mike

I would like to thank you for the all of the empowering things that you do for families with autistic children. I have recently become involved with a project that I thought you might find to be interesting. It is a great tool to provide online "quizzes" and presentations, and it allows you to integrate all kinds of media into the engine (questions/answers/video clips/slideshows/images, etc). (http://www.mystudiyo.com) .

It is really exciting because it is community driven quiz where anyone can create the quiz on their choice topic. Once it's created, anyone (everyone) adds questions and everyone tries to answer / or discuss the topic.

I put together an initial short quiz for the company, and I would like to invite you to take a look at it, and perhaps think of ways that we could  partner on this Quiz. You might want to add a link to your site, which would feature a custom-designed interactive quiz that we can create together. It would benefit both of us, by providing interesting content to your visitors.

This could also be a very nice way for your Group's members to enjoy the hottest topic discussions in a novel social environment, i.e. discussing the Q&A within the Group.

Here is a link to a few opening questions, which we could use as a basis for an autism related quiz.  The questions could be sharpened according to your group's participation. They could highlight your urls so you gain audience & stickiness as the quiz continues to grow. You'll notice that there's a feedback area after the answer. This provides space for detail comments including links. http://www.mystudiyo.com/activity.php?act=504  read more »

Hello, 

Social settings can be a nightmare for people with autism. I had this reinforced for me recently during an afternoon with my son in an 'unfamiliar social setting'.  There were times when he literally stopped in total confusion over what was going on around him.

Words, gestures and looks can be totally overwhelming. Thankfully there was the opportunity to pull him aside and try to explain some of the goings on - and we survived the afternoon without a meltdown.

Understanding language from a literal sense also impacts on the ability to cope and stay on top of things in social settings (more on this here http://www.managingautism.com). It is often worth stopping and thinking about the language and gestures we use in our communication and considering the impact on the people in our lives who have autism.

Good Morning!

There was wonderful chat with Mr. A's speech therapist- (she stayed after school Friday to speak with me).  I am enlightened to what she and others are doing in school as to his conversational skills.  She'd put it to me... He hasn't a script.  We've (I've) got to provide one and starting at the basics is not something in middle school addressed.  I can say if we don't do this we will be speaking in circles for a very long time!

As luck would have it we spent the weekend alone and I put these new-found skills to the test.  Pleasantly surprised with The Words we were told to  use, conversing did actually happen.  Small ones sprinked thru out our weekend, but nonetheless there.   Primary wh questions are keys.  As to his focus, the simplicity of On/Off Topic were as like clever spells of Ms. Granger!

Enjoy this day.