Help
Submitted by GinaProbert on Thu, 02/07/2013 - 03:10
Boy do I hate the situation I'm in. My husband and I are separated so my son can attend a special school . We are buying a house and I don't feel that I want it right now, we are at the cusp of signing papers. He is a good father but I didn't want to get married in the first place, now I have a kid with autism on top of things. I let people push me around, and I know better. Every time I want to renig on the house, he gets mad and I feel guilty. I need to get away from my controlling father who is paying for the house. I did apro- con list, but everything is con. I know my son should have his father around, but this house needs alotof work and money.
help, thanks
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Comments
It is no longer about YOU.
It is no longer about YOU. Once you have a child, even a normal one let alone one with autism, life is about raising the next generation.
Stop being selfish. It isn't about what YOU want. It is about what is best for your child. And hands down, in every study that has ever been done on the subject of autistics and separated parents, the best for the child is ALWAYS one parent of each gender in a stable house.
To provide a stable house properly, you can't rent. No landlord is going to let you build a snoozelen room when you need to. The hassle of having to repair your own house and stay put will be worth it the day your child has a meltdown and kicks a hole in the wall- or better yet, doesn't have a meltdown because he can count on home being the same from day to day.
There are some other things to consider, and you should make sure your son's father is considering them. Noise in the neighborhood is a big thing- kids who live within 1000 feet of a freeway have worse problems with autism. Likewise, climate is important- how steady is the temperature throughout the year? Lighting too is important- are there trees in the neighborhood to shade the house?
But no, I'm sorry. The day you said yes to sex was your marriage day. Everything that comes after, is your fate to deal with. You don't get an out just because "his father is too controling", you should have thought of that *before* having sex.
The one exception to this is physical abuse. And for that, you call the cops.