maybe, it will be helpful

lola's picture

,  When I  had my son, 13 years ago, like any parent, the only thing i saw is a beautiful, perfect  baby. I wish, then, i had  knowledge that i have now. When my son was born ,until 2 years old, he didn't sleep, unless he was rocked. he was very fearful of loud  noises. He didn't use the bathroom until he was almost 5 years old. Every time i asked his  pediatrician, she would say, ;there is nothing wrong with him'. My son didn't ' like pretend games, was hiding, when some one would come to the house,would pull back, when children try to play with him. He was DX at 9 years old, only because of the depression he developed., so much time was wasted. My son wears summer cloth all year long, he  eats very specific  food, he keeps the hitter or  fan  on all the time for nose. When he is working on making customs for his action figures, the sound on TV is off. For  along time, when we would go to the restaurant , we had to bring some thing to put  under his butt for him to be comfortable. When he was young, he  knew everything about racing cars and the drivers, then, everything about Lego's, could create the most wonderful models, for a couple of years now, it is been all about action figures, hunting for them, collecting them. My son now, has sensory problems, anxiety, more social kind, OCD to many thing, but specially rewashing his forks, using new bottle of water with every meal. My son's social life is very limited to his family or his cousins, who are much older then him.My son has a lot of anger, to the fact, that no one  knew he had autism until he was  9 years old, he feels, he was very much misunderstood by the teachers and us. He feels that autism is ruining his life(his words), that he is stuck with it for ever. I use to be very polite when  it had to do with people, like teachers or doctors, but what i realize, we as parents know are children better and we need to speak up, specially, when we see something is not right with our child.I do not know what my son's future will be, but,  as long is Iam around, he will have some one to fight for him. HFA or Asperger's,  Allot of times, not very visible for outsiders, specially when a child well behaved, it is more reason, not to listen to people, who do not know anything about autism, even then, you need some one who qualifies and has sympathy. Who dosen't see everything , black and white, because there is so much grey area when it comes DX correctly. I hope some one who is reading this, will recognize his child in my son and gets help fast.

Comments

6
seebert's picture

Comic Book Guy!  There's a place in society for your son's obsessions.  So much so that he's been stereotyped on the Simpsons.

My advice is to encourage him in his obsessions.  I have no doubt one day he'll be running a quirky little business serving other people interested in Legos and Action Figures.  There are two such businesses within a mile of my house that my 9 year old special needs son loves to visit; and from their prices, they're doing a brisk trade.

lola's picture

 I agree with that. we do encourage and support his obsession, for the most important reason, because it makes him happy.

LalasMom's picture

"He feels that autism is ruining his life(his words), that he is stuck with it for ever."  Last year I felt that my daughter was stuck with autism forever, and my life will never be the same as I know it.  Then I was watching one of my favorite shows, "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition."  They were rebuilding a home for a family who had a son with Autism.  One of the guest was Temple Grandin, who has autism and is very successful.  So, I started reading her books, watched a movie about her, and then started doing research on successful people who have autism.  I am not sure if your son is ready to hear about these people, but maybe there is a successful person out there who deals with action figures (and if not, maybe your son will be that person).

I know Lala will be successful despite of her autism, but I won't know how she feels until she is age appropriate.

lola's picture

 I agree with you, we want know until are kids older. my son as at age, where  puberty running his emotions now, but hopefully later, when he is older with information that he has about him self, will help him live a good life. I do tell him about famous people with asperger's and how well they are doing. I think, now it doesn't make a different  to him, maybe when he is about 17, 18 will make more sen the best.  I do, have  allot of hope for  my son's future. I just hope, it will come a time, when my son sees him self, the way I do. very intelligent, funny, creative with a big heart young man. thank you for reply

seebert's picture

I still have anger issues over my lack of diagnosis- I wasn't dx'd until 30.  But I understand more now.  The world didn't even know about Asperger's until I was a teenager, the original research had been surpressed by the Nazis as "coddling the unfit" (another reason why I'm very pro-life today, is because I ran across Margaret Sanger's original purpose for Planned Parenthood "more children for the fit, less for the unfit" and I realized I'm the unfit).

But I also realize there are gifts with this that most people can't see.   And they are the type of gifts that end up saving worlds.

lola's picture

 this is why, when i hear some parents,  do not want to put ;label' on  DX, makes me mad, because it is really not about them, but about a child getting help and understanding who he is. I am glad that my son knows about his DX, he is not happy about this now, but it will help him when he is adult.