My daughter was diagnosed with Autism today. So now what?
Sad. Overwhlemed. Anxious. Relieved. Depressed. Apprehensive. Uncertain. Affirmed. - These are my emotions after leaving the develpmental pediatrician's office today.
What did I do? What didn't I do? What can I do? Will she be OK? Will she grow up to lead a productive life? Will she continuously struggle through school? Why did I wait so long to seek a second opinion when I knew in my gut that something "was different" about her? Was it the fancy vitamins I took during pregnancy? Did I not control my sugars well enough through my gestational diabetes? Was it the vaccines that I was assured that were safe? What about that reaction to the MMR? But she's "high functioning", right? What if my husband doesn't agree? Where do I start? What does she need from me that I am not giving her? Can I give her what she needs? Am I a good mother? - Questions I had when I left the doctor's office today.
So, this journey begins. Help.
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What seems to have helped
What seems to have helped other people in your situation. Hi, I'm Ted Seeber, I'm 42, and I was diagnosed with Asperger's (now High Functioning Autism) at age 30.
I'm rather sucessful and married.
Having said that, only 3% of autistics follow my path. I've done a bit of an informal study of these rare success stories. Here is what I've learned:
1. Almost all autistics need *some* support later in life. That support might just be a given routine, for the high functioning, or it might be support with basic skills that are instinctive to neurotypicals but the autistic can't seem to learn.
2. One huge way to get that support, is to be very, very good at a very narrow job. In my case, it's software engineering. I earn enough money doing that to raise a family and get the help I need, plus give back help in return.
3. The way to find that very narrow job is to find an obsession, something your autistic will work at whether anybody pays them or not. Turn that obsession into a hobby, then into a college degree, then into a career.
Good luck, and remember, we're all in this together. We're pulling for you.
First of all you are a good
First of all you are a good mother you took her in when you saw something just wasn't right. Too many parents just blow it off as if their kids are being lazy or dumb. Research & research is the key. Read what others have to say. Talk to her school. Take advantage of all the doors that will open up now and most of be pro-active it in. No matter what anyone says. This is not your fault or a flaw just an added thing to her personality.
Dear Jenrg,
Dear Jenrg,
I can relate to what you are feeling and the questions you are asking yourself. My daughter was formally diagnosed in 2011. I went though every emotion, cried a lot, got angry, etc. It does get better. I don't cry as much and I am not as angry as I used to be. It does get better, one day at a time. She is currently in a special day class for Kindergarten. When I look at what she did last year to what she can to today, wow she has come a long way. If I compare her to other kids her age, she is not at grade level. I had to stop comparing and focus on progress. At school she gets Occupational Therapy, Adaptive PE and Speech Therapy. I live in California and my daughter qualifies for services through the Regional Center. She has been getting ABA Therapy for almost 2 years. Besides school, I have her in private Speech Therapy and Occupational Therapy (my husband's insurance covers 90% of the cost).
What did I do to give this to her? Was it the time I drank Equal in my tea? They still don't know the effect that has on pregnant woman. Was it when the doctor told me it was okay to have Dramamine on my flight and he was wrong? Was it when I craved Thai Ice Tea and she was kicking all night? Was it the fact she had a flat head as an infant and the helmet made her head too hot and it effected her? I had a son 2 1/2 years after my daughter and he doesn't have autism. Hmmm... I will never know why, but I know that I am supposed to be her mother and you will and are a good mother to your daughter.. I can handle this even though I don't feel like I can and you can do this too. I have good days and bad days, just like her.
I started reading books on Autism, particularly with girls. "All I Can Handle, I'm No Mother Teresa," is about a woman who has 3 daughters on the spectrum. Temple Grandin is a successful woman with Autism. There are free videos on YouTube for information.
You are at the beginning of your Autism journey (that what I call it). I am here to support any mother who has gone through or will go through what I have. Take care and remember take it one day at a time.
Sincerely,
LalasMom