The respite sitter was here from 6:00 to 9:30 p.m. and didn't stop Wyatt from going to sleep at 7:00 p.m. She said Wyatt didn't feel well. Well, Wyatt felt well enought to get up at 2 a.m. and stampede around the house happily yelling and getting into things--he's still awake and it is 8 a.m. and time for therapy and the last day of summer school. That means we've had only about 2 hours of sleep.
I feel like I can't even think straight to make choices for the day and whatnot. How can I keep Wyatt safe if I'm practically catatonic from no sleep? My husband has said THAT'S IT, NO MORE RESPITE EVENINGS, ESPECIALLY ON WEEK NIGHTS. How can he function to get up and go to work all day if he's had no sleep because of "respite"? He says it's okay if I want to use respite during the day while he's at work. But after the summer, the respite sitter has a day job at a school.
I have asked the sitter to please keep Wyatt awake. Maybe this is my fault for not having a schedule of activities for the respite sitter to do with Wyatt. I can just imagine though, she'll say "He didn't want to play." And really, watching Wyatt can be a pain in the neck. He's an active little guy. So I can fully understand why, after feeding Wyatt dinner, the sitters turn the TV on and tune out. Wyatt gets bored and falls asleep. Is it my fault? Is it the sitter's fault?
I'm going to give the sitter another chance. During respite, I'm going to call her every half-hour to see if Wyatt is still awake. If he's nodding off, that's the end of the evening for us. No exceptions. She's a nice lady and she's been a respite sitter for over 10 years, so maybe all of this is somehow my fault?
It is nice that you can get
It is nice that you can get respite care in the evening. I do not even think that is an option here. I still have not heard anything about when Michael is leaving... I have been tempted 3 times already to cancel. It is not like I really really need the break. Michael has had 3 hours of school this week, and 2 hours of me geting a break in the therapy waiting room. And he does go to sleep really well for me.
I think they should be required to spend 100% (well minues bathroom breaks) with the child doing activities with them. That is part of the reason I asked them to take Michael out of the house.
I think bedtime should be established by the parent... When Michael was about 3 weeks old I started a 9pm bedtime. Mainly because he slept in my mothers room and she got up at 9 to get ready for work. He hated my bedroom, I had all windows while she only had one, which she kept dark. Michael hated lights on at night. Of course he got up every so many hours, but until this last year I have always kept the 9pm bed time. Now it is about 830, which I do regret for he is up early, but for school coming up in a month I want to have him ready just in case he ends up with an early bus schedule. But a babysitter, or respite care giver, I would expect them to follow my guidelines.
That is really cool of the hubby to say you can use the hours while he is at work. I am sure he likes it when you are less stressed. Do you get any other alone time other than respite care?
I don't think official
I don't think official Respite Care was available when my son was smal (at least I never accessed it if it was available). Between your issues with it and shootingstars' recent problems with making appointments, I'm kind of glad I didn't have it. The system seems to be more trouble than its worth. Maybe the government should just give you a "babysitting fund" and let you spent the money however you like.
WyattsMom, I know you and your husband pay really close attention to making sure that Wyatt sticks to his wake/sleep schedule and that you want to be cautious about what meds you use on Wyatt. However, it seems to be that you should maybe have something "stronger" than melatonin available to you to use in the case of an "emergency" (like a lazy babysitter or, worse, a respite care worker that may be trying to "show you up on parenting skills" by getting your son to bed at an earlier time than you normally do).
NB (background info): The mother of one of my son's classmates used to rail on and on about how every child under 12 should be in bed by 7:30 pm and how bad other parents were who did not enforce her rule. I disagree with her - everyone has their own energy levels and their own individual requirements for sleep.
From what you have posted, I think it is possible that your respite worker may disagree with the way you are handling Wyatt's sleeplessness at some fundamental levels and may be trying to get him onto an earlier bedtime schedule. As such, the problems you have later on in the evening may indeed "be her fault." I know you have tried to communicate the problem to her and I don't think it's your fault. At any rate, the way things are, Respite Care for you seems to provide no respite at all and you may need to consider a different respite care worker. At this stage, I don't blame your husband; but he will have to understand that you both need to spend time together away from Wyatt as well. If not through Respite Care, he (and you) will have to be sure to arrange this time together using some other babysitting service (relative, neighbour, etc.).
Just think - when Wyatt's a teenager, you probably won't be able to jackhammer him out of bed before noon on the weekends.
Nicole I think sleep is a
Nicole I think sleep is a major issue for alot of us. It helps to establish a bed time and stick to a
night time routine as close as possible. Marcel takes his night time meds at approx 7:30
every night. Two anti seizure meds, a half a melatonin and a half a clonidine to calm him.
He's been sleeping pretty well. This morning he got up at five but most of the time he sleeps
until daddy get up for work which is 6:30. Your respite care provider is doing whats easiest
for her NOT whats best for Wyatt. Maybe you need a younger helper?
Oh I forgot to mention.... a
Oh I forgot to mention.... a warm bath can do wonders. Toss in a few of those light sticks,
a little lavendar bubble bath and lower the lights, we've done that many times when Marcel
is too wound up to sleep, it really works =)
I need a new respite care
MOTHERS HELPER NEEDED (N.E. San Antonio)
Must be reliable & patient. Our son cannot talk. This is a part time position.
I will be home. Females only please. Must have a flexible schedule & be
willing to help with housework. Experience preferred =)
Got a Winnie/Tigger/Piglet
Got a Winnie/Tigger/Piglet balloon at the Dollar Store. Thought of you!
Eeyore is the best.
Eeyore is the best.
Marcel LOVES Winnie. I swear
Marcel LOVES Winnie. I swear he'll fall in love with the first girl he sees
wearing a Winnie The Pooh shirt lol.