I had not heard from Michael's father in probably 6 weeks. I had given up trying to get information out of him for Michael's profiles and such. I lost his address and wanted to send him a painting Michael did, along with his school pictures. Spencer does Spring pictures that are like senior portraits for little kids. I love Michael's. But no address. So I gave up deleted him from Myspace and just stopped emailing him. He woke me up at 1:15 this morning to talk. And kept me up until 5 on messenger. I was not the best of friends towards him but I refrained from saying many things on my mind.

I guess there is a reunion a few hours away so he is going to come down with his daughter after that and spend about 24 hours here. Yeah thats it. Michael has never met his sister. Does not even know about her. She is I think14 months. I met her mother but that really was not much. I want Michael to know his sister, I just do not think it is very fair that he needs to share his father right now. It would be impossible for David not to love the child he was there for since she was born and can see whenever. The one who is normal thus far... I just have mixed feelings. I do not want to overstep a line with her mother. I do not even know if he told Naomi he was bringing Rose here after the reunion. And no, not one person mentioned wanting to see Michael for it. Go figure.

I really do not know how I feel about David coming down. It will be right after Michael's birthday, and I know he has presents from geez last Christmas and beyond, but I do not care about presents. I think the hardest thing is him elling me he wants to be with me. I mean not as a relationship, he actually told me he wants to cuddle. Here I am trying to banish him from my heart. He s going to be in for a surprise because I am not giving up my heart again. 

I am so afraid of Michael getting hurt again. It has been since September since he saw his father last. He knows he is missing one, and actually tries to call  him. He gets kind of blue when the neighbor's father is around or calls them when we are there. This is the deadbeat father neighbor I have mentioned in the past.  People seem to think that kids like Michael do not understand what they are missing, but I know my son does. I just cannot bear to see him disappointed again. It will break my heart.

One of my neighbors thought it would be funny to get a empathy belly, since he has not seen me in so long, it would be a shock. Granted it is tempting to pull the prank, I think it would be pretty immature. But then again I have been the mature one for so long... I do not think I could really pull it with a serious face.

I think I will share the only family picture taken of us. It is from Christmas 2004.  I fdo have a full color one, just not available to put here.