On Friday I admit I had a lapse in politness. Lately all the little kids have been playing outside when my son gets off his bus. Michael decided he wanted thneighbor girl's big wheel. He has his own little trike type thing, so I tried explaining to him he rides his own. It ended up in a fit where he threw his biks, and his water bottle. If I took it away he screamed for it back and just threw it again. It was everything I could to trying to control him. I tried smothering hugs, holding him down to talk to him ect. Finally I was so annoyed I could not take it anymore it was time to go in. I walked back over to the group of adults to grab his backpack and the young babysitter of the neighbor kids made a joke comment "Way to Go Mom" I snapped pretty bad at her. I said it was not funny and his behavior is nothing to joke about and try raising an autistic child and they she would know. And I stormed upstairs with Michael. I guess I just bite my tongue so many times I just snapped. It always makes me feel horrid about myself when Michael crashes like that and people say things, even as a joke... I did apoplogize to her yesterday.
All this talk about toilets. Mine broke. It will not hold water in the tank. So I get to clean my house all nice for the maintenance guy to come fix it. And I swear they had better fix it! I have meetings at home tomorrow so I guess it will be Tuesday.
Hey! - I can comment,
Hey! - I can comment, again... I just figured it out :0)
Hang in there, shootingstars. We've all been there, done that. Sometimes everything we know how to do just doesn't work and people watching judgmentally doesn't help. I've done my share of shreaking at bystanders over the years - sometimes we just need to vent.
YAY I am not the only one
YAY I am not the only one able to comment now :)
oh my gosh! I can
oh my gosh! I can comment!!! woo hoo! i'm sorry you had a bad day--you should have seen me on Saturday, I was so ashamed of myself. Wyatt practically destroyed the kitchen--what a mess! Like 2 minutes before we had to leave for a therapy thing. I was screaming, I was all worked up, I was very resentful because even though Marc was all done with his classes the day before he went to work to work on EXTRA CREDIT!!! So I had no help. I knew we were going to be late for this therapy that we have to pay out of pocket for--money down the toilet for all the minutes we are not there that we have to pay for anyway. Wyatt was upset after a while of my being upset, so I basically thrust him into the therapy office while he was screaming. It was all my fault. It took them 15 minutes to calm him down. I felt so immature. I apologized to the therapist and she was sooo nice about in and only charged me for 30 minutes. But I can't go around acting like that. I was just on my last nerve.
I try bribing Michael so he
I try bribing Michael so he is in a good mood before home workers show. He goes back to his Speech and Occupational Therapy in a week. I am concerned that he will not cooperate for them again. He really needs it though or he will regress and have a harder time this fall in school. His teacher admitted she uses cookies occasionally to make him happy. I guess whatever gets the job done right now.
I usually do not storm into the therapy office, I usually storm out of the hospital after his meltdowns. And then I feel horrid for being so mean to Michael. Then he gets spoiled later at home.